Fears of Pregnancy

All the horror stories you hear and the ones that don't always have happy endings.
This pregnancy has had its ups and downs for sure, but lately I have gained a love
for this little girl inside me that I didn't think I would yet. In the beginning I was so sick
and nothing worked, day after day the same thing. Then finally got that worked out
and things started looking upward. Felt great! Thanks to a family friend who shared
her knowledge and support. :) I am a believer in Lemon and Enzymes! No heart burn
nor throwing up anymore! So then here I am, I catch strep. Not so bad at first, but
once I am on meds it keeps getting worse! Finally after 6 days of antibiotics I go back in
to see the family Dr. and I am grateful I did! My body hasn't been responding to the
antibiotics like most, so I am not contagious but its not killing the strep yet. Then to add
to it, there is bacteria and infections showing up in my urine, which shouldn't (for most)
happen while your on an antibiotic. Needless to say after running tests and checking my
vitals trying to get an answer the Dr. thinks its smart to check on the baby. So they start
checking her heart rate and movement best to their ability there and it really concerns
him, because her heart rate is lower than normal and dropped a bit. So here I am all
by myself sitting in the room and the Dr. keeps coming in and out and the nurse and I don't
know half of what they are saying, I was so scared when it came to the baby. I honestly
never have felt that way towards her this whole pregnancy, but instantly when he started
mentioning things that he was concerned about with her I was afraid and repeating in my
head "please no, please no". Just kept saying a silent prayer to myself. Meanwhile Ty is
at school in Orem, and no car only the bus to get him home. So I texted him trying not to
let him know I am silently freaking out all by myself and then I texted my Mom who was
at home and heading out soon. My mom called right away, which helped to talk to someone.
We ended up over at Jordan Valley Hosp. to do a ultrasound on the baby to make sure things
were ok with her. Which she passed all 8 categories. Her heart rate had gone back up by 3pm.
So now its just watching her movements and trying to figure out whats going on with me.
But I decided all my fears of pregnancy are legit. Its scary and horrifying to think whatever
is going on with ME effects my baby. Now I am not a pill popper or smoker nor do I drink
caffeine even. But it really made me realize how much I already love my little girl! I can't
wait to get to hold her and see her face to face. I am grateful for the Angels that we both
have protecting us and taking care of her. Ty and I were at the temple last month and we
were sitting and pondering, I started to think about how my little girl wont know the amazing
man her Grandpa is. That he wont get to hold her and burp her and see her cute faces ect...
then it was an overwhelming feeling that I got with the thought that she doesn't need to know
him here on this earth because she is with him now. She knows him, and he knows her. They
have a relationship and will always. It's a miracle that I am pregnant and I know he played a
part in it. He couldn't wait for me to meet her and become her earthly mom. So despite what the tests showed and my body was doing, she got to come. It's my job to help her remember
what she knows up there and the people she's with. I know there is lots more than just my Dad
with her, which is comforting because my Dad has alot of us down here to worry about and
keep tabs on. :) But I am greatful for doctors and technology! I still have alot going on in my body to get better from but its comforting knowing that my little girl is ok and even the slightest
concern they will find out for sure and double check to make sure she is healthy. So even right now not having gone through birthing her yet, I might consider having another down the road.

Now that I have gone all personal and gushy on ya'll... Other News...

We got our travel system and all. Pac n' play too! I even got all home maker and made a car
seat cover! (with my moms assistance on the sewing machine some of the time) I just have to finish the second one! It looks so cute!! LOTS oh LOTS better than the first one I made a year
ago! -Krista I learned alot more now! lol But I am going to make some bows & headbands too!
I got cute ribbon to put on burp cloths and all. I can't wait!! We also started looking at apartments! It's exciting to be moving forward in life! Just 3 1/2 months (hopefully) and our
little girl will be apart of our family on this earth! Yay!